Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health or wellbeing over. Understand the depth of that statement. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health over.

your future self loves you. they will look through old photos of you with affection, not disgust, nor embarrassment. they wish they could tell you stories of your future, of how much you’ll change, of the people you’ll meet, of how you’ll eventually learn to accept yourself, then love yourself. they will read your diary entries and poems and favourite lyrics, heart aching, tears in their eyes. if only you knew…

your future self loves you. if only they could show you. they are living proof. you’ll turn out okay after all. they wish they were there to console you, dance with you, and make you write it a hundred times: “I AM LOVED”. they will listen to playlists you made, just to experience you again. they will write you a letter - of forgiveness, longing, reassurance. you will never read it. but you will know.

랑콤.

What is heartbreaking about Steven is the fact the never was actually haunted.

It makes sense why he didn’t believe, and why he thought mental illnesses ran in the family. He was never actually haunted by a ghost. The primary experience he had was when he gave his mother the vanity, and then she broke the mirror right in front of him.

He looked terrified and hurt when she broke the mirror. He spent hours on the project, and she shattered the mirror. At that moment, Steven didn’t recognize his mother, and he was scared of her.

Steven watched as his mother became more and more ill (in his mind). He watched as Nell become terrified of her night terrors and of bent-neck lady.

Steven never had a ghost follow him around like Theo, Luke, and Nell. He didn’t witness banging on the walls as Shirley and Theo did. He didn’t see visions of his family dying as his mother did.

He watched as his family gradually became self-destructive. He witnessed how his father was seen as mad, and he witnessed how it affect his family.

Steven would have been better off to see a ghost. He would have been better off to see shadows behind him. Because that way he knows that what is happening isn’t his fault.

He blames himself for his mother’s death.

He blames himself for Nell’s death.

He would blame himself if his children turned out like him.

Steven’s version of the house is his mother becoming insane. It’s her ruining a gift he made her. It’s her having outbursts. It’s her getting migraines very often. It’s Nell not sleeping because of bent-neck lady.

Steven’s version is harsh reality.

Steven turned out the way he was because of his experience from the house. There wasn’t a ghost to blame. There wasn’t a bad spirit presence to blame. It was his mother’s mental state.

He was in denial that his mother really was sick, and he missed his mother. He lost the woman she was before the house. Before she broke the mirror. Before she talked to herself in rooms. Before all of it.

Steve wrote the book for closure. Was he right? Maybe not. But he was going bankrupt. He needed the money, and the only sibling to dislike the idea was Shirley. All the others said they weren’t comfortable, but they still were okay with him publishing it.

Steven became skeptical of everything. And even when he was skeptical of Nell’s mental state or Luke’s addiction, he still helped them.

He still gave Luke two hundred dollars, when he could have thrown Luke on the street.

He still offered Nell his home when his father called him.

He doesn’t deserve the hate he’s getting. His childhood is messed up. He didn’t see any ghosts when he was at the house. He didn’t get haunted. He saw reality. He truly believed his mother killed herself because of her mental state, and he honestly thought he was broken.

• bae suzy!♡

like if u saved ♡